


One More Time, One More Chance

by avenged_tobio



Series: Xiuchen ABO/Family AU [5]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alpha Chanyeol, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Married Life, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Omega Baekhyun, Prequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-27 02:18:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8384173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avenged_tobio/pseuds/avenged_tobio
Summary: Baekhyun and Chanyeol struggle to pick themselves back up after a tragedy hits them, but once the pain of it passes, all they want is a second chance to get it right.(Chanbaek’s prequel to “Our Time”)





	1. “I was right beside you when you went to Hell and back again…”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm actually posting this earlier than I planned and in two parts which was different from my original plan. I wanted to do both this and the Xiuchen prequels together (since Chanbaek isn't the primary pairing here) but school has been kicking my butt lately and I've been wanting to update for a while now. I'll finish the next half as soon as I can, then I can work on the Xiuchen sequel (which I've already started but haven't had the chance to finish).  
> The title in the first chapter was inspired by a line from a Three Days Grace song called Fallen Angel.

Ask Park Chanyeol at any time on any day of the week, and he will happily tell you: he believes that he was fated to be married to Byun Baekhyun. The beginning of their love story sounds like something out of a romantic comedy, two college freshmen spotting each other at one of their school’s welcome week events and taking it from there… at least, that’s the story that they tell everyone. Neither one of them is willing to admit that they were both drunk off their asses at an apartment party and Chanyeol couldn’t figure out whose number was in his phone the next morning. But he did remember that the omega who he had a deep conversation with was beautiful, and when they agreed to meet for lunch, his drunken memory hadn’t failed him. Their second meeting had been much better than their first, and that’s where their story really begins.

After having met at the beginning of their first year of college, Chanyeol and Baekhyun dated for the rest of their four years, with Chanyeol in the nursing program and Baekhyun in the school of accounting. During that time, Baekhyun’s roommate Jongdae had found love in one of Chanyeol’s older nursing classmates, an omega by the name of Kim Minseok, and the four created their own form of a pack. Like the other couple expected, Chanyeol proposed to Baekhyun at midnight on New Year’s Eve of their senior year and the two were married only a few months after graduation. Now the two couples were comfortably established in their own lives in Seoul but they still maintained the tight bond they forged during the college years.

Chanyeol was still a resident, right along with his friend Minseok who was an established nurse, at the hospital where he was hoping to begin working full time in another year. Baekhyun had gotten his first job outside of college at one of the largest banks in their district in Seoul. Their apartment was nice, not exactly the best but it was enough for the two of them to be able to live comfortably. Although they were busy in their professional lives, they always made time for each other, but Baekhyun’s omega instincts were telling him that there was something missing in their lives. He didn’t even think much of it until he accidentally blurted it out over dinner one night.

Chanyeol nearly choked on his dinner and he felt Baekhyun run a soothing hand up and down his back. “Uh, Baek? What was that?”

Baekhyun sighed. “I know, it was a stupid suggestion. Feel free to say ‘no’ or ‘hell no’ or whatever.”

Chanyeol laughed. “Baekhyun, sweetheart, you know I wouldn’t say no to you about this, but are you sure? I mean, yes I want it too, but that’s a big step for us. Are you sure we’re ready for a baby? I mean, we’re both busy people and this apartment isn’t exactly the best setting to start a family in.”

“I know it’s a big deal, but I feel like it’s never too early to think about it. It was actually kind of random that I brought it up now so, of course, I don’t want you to feel pressured to say yes.”

Of course Chanyeol thought about having kids, and he especially thought about having them with Baekhyun, so it wasn’t a bad proposition at all. But with him not quite started at the hospital and Baekhyun barely having enough sick leave saved to take off after giving birth, it wasn’t the best time for them to think about it. Still, the longer he stared at his husband, who had never been more certain of anything else before, he realized that he wanted it just as much as he did. In the end, he decided that it didn’t hurt to give it a try.

They started trying after their first wedding anniversary, which was… an interesting situation. Seoul had been hit by a giant thunderstorm which knocked out the power in their apartment for the night. In the meantime, just like their first meeting in college, they had gotten drunk and the first signs of Baekhyun’s heat appeared. They put their candles to good use and, needless to say, neither one of them slept much that night. It was a long weekend for both of them but it didn’t take long after that for the omega to surprise his husband with a positive pregnancy test.

Of course, Baekhyun expected the typical early symptoms of pregnancy, like nausea, morning sickness, and restlessness. Unlike most pregnant omegas, however, Baekhyun’s symptoms were an all-day thing. Most of his omega coworkers and his boss at the bank where he worked were able to handle their symptoms with grace and maintain their work, but Baekhyun couldn’t stop being sick. He worked for a few days after finding out that he was pregnant, but he didn’t have the chance to get much work done.

“Are you okay, Baekhyun?” one of his coworkers asked as she passed by his office. He had his head in his hands and was taking deep breaths to stop himself from throwing up again. It was 2:30 in the afternoon.

Baekhyun shot his head up so fast that he almost made himself dizzy. The nausea hit him again and he had to take more deep breaths to calm himself down. The alpha woman came over and rubbed his back.

“I’ll take that as a no,” she said lightly, making Baekhyun laugh.

Baekhyun shook his head. “This is gonna be a tough nine months. How long did this part of being pregnant last when you had your twins?”

“About a month or so. Then the other stuff came around but I could handle it. Why?”

“Because I don’t know if it’s this or something else, but I can’t stop throwing up and I can’t eat anything and I hate it.”

The woman nodded. “And how long has this been going on?”

“Since I found out I was pregnant the other day.”

“You might be different, Baekhyun. Some people can be gracefully pregnant then it’s harder for others. Maybe you should talk to Mr. Lu and see if he’ll let you have a few days off. If you’re really feeling this bad, then you should take some time off and rest.”

Baekhyun nodded and stood up, almost losing his balance from dizziness but his coworker held him up. “I’ll do that. Thanks.”

“No problem,” the alpha woman answered. “Just go home and focus on getting better.” Baekhyun’s boss, Mr. Lu, also happened to be an omega, so he was understanding of Baekhyun’s situation. Baekhyun was on his way home by 3, trying to steady himself enough to be able to drive home. He knew that Chanyeol had the day off, so he was ready to get some comfort from his alpha.

As soon as he walked in and smelled the food that he was cooking, however, all he was focused on was finding somewhere to get rid of his new wave of nausea. Chanyeol had barely noticed he came in until he saw something run by the kitchen door. “Baekhyun? Are you home?”

Instead of an answer, Chanyeol heard the bathroom door close, followed by the sound of Baekhyun vomiting. He opened the door slowly and walked behind the sickly omega, gently rubbing his back. “Long day, love?" 

Baekhyun turned his head and gave Chanyeol a weak smile. “The longest.” Before he could say anymore, he finished emptying the contents of his stomach. Chanyeol brought him some water and seltzer tablets before helping him into his pajamas and into bed. Chanyeol put off finishing dinner and crawled into bed with Baekhyun, cuddling with him until the smaller one fell asleep.

* * *

Baekhyun began going into week three of his illness and Chanyeol found himself growing more worried about his omega’s condition. Unfortunately, Baekhyun had always been the kind to stay sick for weeks, but it would have been better if he hadn’t been pregnant. That was the one thing that worried Chanyeol the most about this situation, and the doctors couldn’t find anything too out of the ordinary about him, but they asked to see him again if he had gotten worse. He hadn’t gotten any worse, yet, and that was one good thing, but he hadn’t gotten any better no matter how hard he tried. Still, Chanyeol had to take some days off so he could stay home and take care of Baekhyun because he physically couldn’t do it alone anymore.

The situation had worried Chanyeol to the point that he had started having nightmares. There was one that felt so real and personal that it left him shaken. In it, he was there with an infant that looked more like Baekhyun than him, except for his ears. But Baekhyun was nowhere to be found except in pictures, and after he took the child to his nursery for the night, he crawled into their empty bed and cried himself to sleep. He woke up from it in tears and a cold sweat, and checked the time as 2 am. He went back to sleep after checking up on Baekhyun who was asleep beside him, and woke up again a few hours later in an empty bed.

Unlike his nightmare, he assumed that it was his morning sickness acting up again but he got up to check on him and see if he needed any help. “Baekhyunnie?” Chanyeol called out as he knocked on the closed bathroom door. He felt his heart drop when he heard Baekhyun sobbing on the other side of the door. “Baekhyun? Are you okay?” He forced the door open, thinking about nothing else other than his omega’s wellbeing.

Baekhyun was curled up on the floor, holding his stomach in pain with his hands faintly stained in red. His face was puffy and red from his crying and he looked up at Chanyeol in misery. “Ch-Chan… s… s-some-thing’s w-wrong, oh god something’s t-terribly wrong.”

Chanyeol’s nursing training and protective alpha instincts sprung him to action, quickly rushing to his husband’s side. “Shh… shh baby, everything will be okay. Hang on for me, okay?” Chanyeol carried Baekhyun to their bed, gently laying him down and rushing to his phone to call for help. As soon as he wrapped up his call, he joined Baekhyun on the bed. “Everything will be fine, okay? Help is on its way now.”

Baekhyun took a deep breath and replaced it with a scream of pain when he felt another sharp twist in his stomach. “Chan… d-don’t leave m-me alone, please.”

“I won’t, baby, I swear.” Chanyeol was staying surprisingly calm in this. He had to be strong for his omega.

“It hurts, Chanyeol, i-it hurts so m-much. What’s happening to me?”

Chanyeol knew exactly what was happening to him. Labor and Delivery at the hospital gets about twenty cases like this every week, and the majority of them have tragic endings. But Chanyeol didn’t want to think about it that way. He wanted to think that Baekhyun would be one of the happy ending cases, where this would all be a false alarm and they would be fine. But the tears flooding from his eyes and his screams of agony were telling them another story.

“You’ll be fine, baby. I promise.” Chanyeol avoided having to tell his husband that there was a good chance that he would not be as okay as they were hoping. He held Baekhyun’s hand, not even flinching when he felt it being squeezed under the omega’s bone-crushing grip. The ambulance arrived not too long after and Chanyeol left Baekhyun’s side for the first time that morning to let them in.

Chanyeol returned to his omega’s side and held his hand from their bedroom to the ambulance. He coached him through the pain and answered all the paramedic’s questions for him. As soon as he had a quiet enough moment, he picked up his phone and called Baekhyun’s family first, before he called the next person he could think of.

“Chanyeol?” Minseok asked, voice groggy from being woken up. “What’s up?”

Chanyeol swallowed down the knot in his throat that had developed when he looked down at Baekhyun again. “Minseok,” he finally started once he steadied his voice. “Are you at work right now?”

“No, I don’t go in until 11. Why? Is there something wrong?” Minseok listened until he heard a choked sob from the alpha. “Chanyeol?”

“It’s Baekhyun,” he finally said. “We’re on our way to the hospital now because… something went wrong and I don’t know who else to call. I’m sorry if I woke you up but… I’m so scared right now.”

Minseok sat up in bed and woke up his boyfriend Jongdae who was asleep next to him. “Okay, we’ll be on our way soon. Don’t worry, Chan, everything will be alright.”

“Thank you, Minseok. I’m sorry if I’m bothering you.”

“Park Chanyeol, you know we’d never abandon you when you need us. Just hold on and we’ll be right there.” Chanyeol heard Jongdae’s voice in the background before Minseok ended the call. Chanyeol returned his attention back to Baekhyun, who was quietly whimpering and crying to himself. His eyes opened when he felt Chanyeol’s thumbs run over his cheeks softly.

“We’re almost there, Baekhyun. Stay strong.” Baekhyun nodded and gave his alpha a soft, weak smile when he felt the other kiss his forehead. Less than a minute later, the ambulance arrived at the hospital and Baekhyun was rushed to the emergency room, leaving a broken Chanyeol alone in the waiting room.

Jongdae and Minseok were the first to arrive at the hospital to comfort Chanyeol. The couple found the emotional alpha in the empty waiting room, crying alone. He spent so much of his energy trying to be strong for Baekhyun that once they were separated and the fear of the unknown set in, he couldn’t control his emotions anymore. He was afraid for his child’s sake, but he was also afraid for his husband’s life as well. He had been in so much pain that it was impossible for this to end well.

“Chanyeol?” Minseok whispered softly, shaking the bigger alpha’s shoulder. Chanyeol looked up with red-rimmed eyes and wiped his cheeks as quickly as he could. Minseok scooped him up into a hug, Jongdae joining in, and Chanyeol’s body shook as more sobs flowed freely.

“Have you heard anything?” Jongdae asked, sitting beside him and running his hand softly up and down his back.

Chanyeol shook his head no. “Nothing. They’ve been in there with him for over half an hour now. I know what happened to him but I don’t know if he’s okay.”

“He will be, don’t worry,” Minseok answered to console him. Then he realized what might have happened to him and turned silent. Before either of them could say anything else, Baekhyun’s family came into the room and Chanyeol stood up to greet them. Baekhyun’s mother was an emotional mess, having to be helped into the room by his father. His alpha brother Baekbeom and his wife, who was carrying their three-month-old daughter, followed behind them and his silent expression was calm but solemn. Chanyeol updated the family on the current situation, with Jongdae and Minseok watching quietly and trying to understand the family’s pain.

Finally, after waiting for an hour, a doctor came into the room looking for Chanyeol. He stepped out of the room and prepared himself for the truth.

The doctor had known Chanyeol since he began working at this hospital but the look on his face was anything but happy. “Chanyeol, I’m sorry to tell you this,” he started, and Chanyeol felt his heart drop at the words. “Baekhyun is alive and resting, but… but we couldn’t save your child. I’m sorry, Chanyeol, but Baekhyun had a miscarriage.”

Chanyeol had to take a minute to take in the heartbreaking news. He had already seen too many people in this hospital suffer through the same pain, and now his husband was the next victim. He was afraid to break the news to him or their family; everyone had been so excited about the prospect of a new baby but now it’s over before it even had the chance to begin. He remembered how eager Baekhyun had looked when he brought up the idea of having a child and how happy they were when he came home to the omega surprising him with a positive pregnancy test. Then he remembered how sick he’d been since that day, and now he thought about the misery that his husband was feeling. How cruel, he thought, that fate had to steal something beautiful from them that they didn’t even get the chance to see or hold or properly love. This was the child that he and Baekhyun wanted and worked to have, but now they’ll never get to know them.

“Are you okay, Chanyeol?” the doctor asked, rubbing the alpha’s shoulder. “Can you tell him, or should I?”

Chanyeol nodded. “I can. Just… I need a minute with his family, okay?”

The doctor nodded. “Of course. Take all the time you need. He’s in room 320 when you’re ready.”

Chanyeol took a moment and collected himself before he went back into the waiting room. Their friends and Baekhyun’s family turned to him and patiently waited for what he was going to say next.

“Baekhyun’s okay” – he started with the good news first – “but he had a miscarriage this morning, and they couldn’t save the baby.” The room filled with the sound of Baekhyun’s mother wailing. Baekbeom’s wife was crying too, as were Minseok, Jongdae, and even his stoic alpha father. Of course they were happy to know that Baekhyun was alive, but they were also mourning the loss of their child.

“The doctor also said we can visit him at any time, but I need to break the news first. I’ll go do that, then come up to the third floor in about twenty minutes or whenever you’re ready.” Before Chanyeol left the room again, he received hugs from everyone to console him. He held his mother-in-law longer than the others, feeling her small frame shake with every sob. He took his time getting to the elevator and up to Baekhyun’s room, and although he wanted to be by his husband’s side to comfort him, he wasn’t ready to break his heart.

He stood in front of Baekhyun’s door for a minute before he knocked and slowly opened it. Baekhyun was lying in the bed and staring blankly at the door. He had stopped crying, probably because it used all of his energy, and looked like his life had been all but drained from him. He was pale, much paler than what Chanyeol was used to seeing him, and it broke his heart to see him in this condition.

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun called out quietly, finally turning to look at him. He tried to sit up in the bed and fell back when the pain in his stomach returned. Chanyeol closed the door behind him and jogged to his side.

“Shh, Baek, don’t hurt yourself.” Chanyeol helped him sit up and brought him a cup of water. Baekhyun tried to drink it by himself but his hands were too shaky, so Chanyeol held it for him.

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun started again when he put the cup down. “What did they tell you? What happened to me?”

Chanyeol swallowed hard. “Baekhyun, I… I’m so sorry, Baekhyun, but they couldn’t save our child. You had a miscarriage this morning. I know you tried so hard but don’t forget that it’s not your fault that this happened.”

Baekhyun nodded slowly and looked like he wanted to cry again, but he was too broken to do anything. His hand that wasn’t being held by Chanyeol’s moved down to his stomach and the realization set in. “It’s gone…” he said, more to himself than anyone else. It felt too surreal to him and he didn’t want to believe that it was true. But he knew that Chanyeol would never lie to him like that. A single tear finally rolled down but Chanyeol caught it before Baekhyun even knew it was there. “I… Chanyeol… Chanyeol I’m so sorry, I- I…”

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol said firmly, almost scaring his already shell-shocked husband after the hellish morning that he had been through. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. But please, I don’t want to hear you put any blame of this on yourself, alright? This isn’t your fault, none of this is. I’ll help you any way that I can, and your family, Jongdae, and Minseok are downstairs, so don’t think for a second that you’re going through this alone.”

Baekhyun wiped his cheeks with a shaky hand. “I know, Chanyeol, I’m sor- I know.” He felt Chanyeol pull him close for a hug.

“We’ll help you pull yourself together, Baekhyun. Everything will be okay, I promise.” After sitting together and discussing their future for a few more minutes, Chanyeol stepped out so Baekhyun’s family and their friends could come in and have a moment with him. He held Baekbeom’s daughter when he and his wife went into the room because they knew for sure that the sight of a baby would break the omega’s heart more than it already was. But Chanyeol wasn’t okay himself as he held his sleeping niece, imagining the baby that he and Baekhyun could have had.

Baekhyun stayed in the hospital until three in the afternoon, when he was finally allowed to go home. Chanyeol checked them out and said goodbye to Minseok who was working in L&D that day. Baekhyun’s parents drove them home and Baekhyun, exhausted after the events of the last ten hours of his life, fell asleep before they got there.

As soon as they pulled up in front of their apartment building, Baekhyun’s father opened the door so Chanyeol could carry him in and put him to bed. His parents offered to help them whenever they needed it and Chanyeol thanked his in-laws for being there for them that morning. As soon as they were gone, Chanyeol occupied himself in whatever way he could while Baekhyun slept. He cleaned the apartment as much as he could, called his own family to break the sad news to them, and cooked dinner so Baekhyun would have something to wake up to. 

Baekhyun was quiet when he walked into the kitchen around 8 pm. He looked like he was still tired, understandably so, but he hadn’t eaten all day so he was more focused on that than anything else. Chanyeol refused to leave his side, walking with him to the table, bringing him his food, and helping him take a bath before going back to bed. They had a long way to go before recovery, but Chanyeol was ready to take every step with him.

* * *

The next few weeks passed like a dark cloud. Chanyeol’s birthday was a couple weeks after Baekhyun’s miscarriage, but for the first time in his life he wasn’t in the mood to celebrate it. He shared a cake, a movie, and a microwavable dinner with Baekhyun, but it was all he needed for this year. Baekhyun had no plans to return to work until after the new year, but his boss who was also an omega was understanding of his situation. Chanyeol, on the other hand, went back to the hospital at the beginning of December when Baekhyun insisted that he was fine by himself at home. After all, they still had bills that needed to be paid.

Baekhyun was still physically hurting, but after the first week he seemed like he was emotionally and mentally handling the situation better than he had the day that it happened. He was much quieter than normal, though, and it worried Chanyeol to think that he was bottling up his emotions and expressing them in other unhealthy ways. He was extra attentive to him to be sure that he wasn’t taking his negative feelings out on himself, and the thought of Baekhyun resorting to drastic measures worried him especially when he was at work.

Chanyeol’s coworkers were much friendlier to him before and understood that he was having some problems in his personal life. They avoided sending him to L&D and his superiors were kinder to him about the hours that he had to work. Still, although he was worried about Baekhyun at home, work was the only thing that he had to distract himself from the hurt that he was feeling too. He had moments where he had to step into the break room and collect himself before going back out, and there were even days where he was sent home early to take care of himself. Minseok gladly took over the work that he missed to take the load off of his friend’s shoulders, but Chanyeol felt guilty for making him work harder to pick up his slack.

It had been more than a month since the incident, and Chanyeol arrived home after one of the first shifts that he was able to complete without being overcome with his emotions. The sun had just set and it was colder out than it normally was. He walked into the apartment to hear the sizzling of cooking oil coming from the kitchen. “Baekhyun?” he called out.

“In here!” the omega answered, sounding more chirpy and happy than he had been in weeks. Chanyeol came around the corner to see his husband cooking up dinner with a slight smile on his face. He looked up and wiped his hands on his apron. “Welcome home,” he greeted his husband, wrapping his arms around him and giving him a kiss.

“Baek?” Chanyeol asked, quietly. Any other time, he would be happy to see Baekhyun this cheery, but he knew that he was not okay, and this was probably just another way of his of handling his feelings. Still, he hugged Baekhyun close and returned the kiss. “How are you feeling today?”

“Much better. I think I’m finally starting to heal. Thank you for being so good to me, Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol chuckled and kissed his forehead. “I’m your husband, and when I agreed to ‘in sickness and in health’, I meant it. But I’m glad you’re starting to feel better.”

“Hey, can you get the laundry and fold it for me? The dryer just finished not too long ago.” Chanyeol nodded and left the room to finish the chore. He thought that Baekhyun’s behavior was a little odd but if he was being sincere about healing, then who is he to say he’s lying? He’s happy to know that Baekhyun is getting better so they can begin to move on. He brought the basket into the living room and began humming a song while he folded the clothes, feeling better about their situation.

Halfway through the basket, Chanyeol heard a clattering coming from the kitchen, following by Baekhyun swearing loudly. He hopped up from the couch and hurried into the kitchen. “Baekhyun! Baek, are you ok-” He stopped when he saw Baekhyun hunched over the counter, holding his hand with a red burn mark on it and sobbing. The type of sobbing that he was doing was much different than if he’d just gotten a minor burn on his hand. “Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun turned around and slid down to the floor, still holding his hand. Chanyeol came over, turned off the burners, and sat down in front of him.

“Baekhyun, are you okay? What happened?” Chanyeol looked at the burn on his hand shaped like the handle of the skillet and wiped away his tears with his free hand.

“It’s not just t-this, Chan,” he finally started, letting Chanyeol pick him up off the floor. Chanyeol walked him over to the sink and ran some cold water over the burn. “I lied. I’m trying my best but… I’m not okay. I feel so fucking empty and I can’t take this anymore. I just… I j-just want this all to be over.”

Chanyeol held Baekhyun close while he cleaned up the burn. He knew Baekhyun wasn’t really okay. He knew he was far from okay. Baekhyun was still in misery and it would take more than a month for him to heal. They could have another child soon in a few years and Baekhyun could still be healing from this. Chanyeol didn’t blame him for hurting at all.

“I know, baby. Just let it all out. You know you don’t have to hide it from me.” Chanyeol dried Baekhyun’s hand and wrapped it up. “Go lie down for a little bit, I can finish all this.”

“Are you sure?”

Chanyeol cupped his cheeks and kissed him tenderly. “Of course. You need to rest. I’ll bring it to you when it’s done.”

Reluctantly, Baekhyun nodded and made his way to the bedroom. Chanyeol finished the clothes and left them in the living room, then returned to the kitchen and finished the dinner that Baekhyun had been working on. The good mood that he built up when he thought Baekhyun was okay was gone, and now all he was focused on was taking care of him. He put their finished dinner onto two plates and carried them on a tray to their bedroom. Baekhyun had stopped crying and was sitting up against his pillow.

“Thank you, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun whispered softly. He took his plate and began eating slowly so he wouldn’t upset his stressed stomach. Chanyeol simply told him that he needed to stop thanking him for doing his job, and began eating beside him. After dinner, Chanyeol cleaned up their dishes while Baekhyun took a hot shower before crawling back into bed. Chanyeol returned quickly and took a shower, then joined Baekhyun in bed to watch a movie before sleeping. Halfway through it, Chanyeol heard Baekhyun’s soft snoring under his arm, resting his head on his chest, and he didn’t have the heart to move and disturb him. 

Baekhyun may not be okay yet, but Chanyeol is more than happy to stick by him until he is.

* * *

Six months passed, and Chanyeol could finally see the progress in Baekhyun’s healing. He didn’t have any more accidents after the kitchen burn in December, he returned to work in January, and he heard him let out a genuine laugh at the beginning of February. Jongdae and Minseok, as well as both of their families, visited regularly and the extra company was helping with the healing process. Plus, having a protective and attentive alpha like Chanyeol was a relief, since he made sure that Baekhyun wasn’t doing anything that he couldn’t handle on his own. With all the love around him, it didn’t take too long for Baekhyun to return to his normal self.

By the time his birthday came around in May, he and Chanyeol had a real reason to celebrate. Chanyeol spoiled him with candlelit dinner reservations at one of the best restaurants in their district, a late night walk on the Han River, and dessert at an amazing café. Baekhyun had gone into heat at the café but the smell of his cologne masked his scent from other alphas. But Chanyeol noticed, and judging by the hand that never left Baekhyun’s thigh under the table, he had one more thing planned for the night. By the time they returned home after 1 am, neither one of them had plans to sleep, since it had been a few months since the last time they’d been physically intimate.

“I missed this, so much,” Baekhyun whispered as Chanyeol gently laid him down on their bed. The alpha left heated, sloppy kisses all over him and breathed in his delicious scent with each breath, while he helped the smaller omega out of his clothes.

“Me too,” Chanyeol responded, more of a breathy moan than anything else. “I forgot how good you smell when you’re in heat, it’s amazing.” With trembling fingers, he finished unbuttoning the omega’s shirt and threw it open, littering his chest and stomach in messy kisses. Baekhyun let out a loud, drawn-out moan when Chanyeol paid extra attention to a certain spot on his chest, right above his heart, leaving a purple bruise in his wake. His senses had gone into overdrive, and with the added scent of Chanyeol’s arousal filling the room, he wanted nothing more than for his alpha to quit taking his sweet time getting rid of their clothes and get to making sweet love to him.

Chanyeol, on the other hand, proceeded with caution. He was actually nervous handling Baekhyun’s body, something that hadn’t happened since their first time in college. This was, after all, their first time being intimate like this since October, when Baekhyun learned that he was pregnant and before he had the miscarriage. Since then, Baekhyun had healed exactly like the doctors told him he would, but he was still worried about somehow hurting him. This was the only way that Baekhyun’s heat would be bearable and both of them wanted this, but he was still taking his time, wanting to do it right and make it sweet.

He stripped Baekhyun down to his boxers before he attended to his own clothes, making sure to put on a show for his omega. Baekhyun’s bedroom eyes were not helping in making the process easier, and he almost fell off the side of the bed while sliding off his pants. Baekhyun snickered and Chanyeol pouted.

“Hey, don’t laugh!” Chanyeol whined, returning to pin the omega’s smaller body under his. “If you do, then I’ll have to punish you for it.”

“I dare you,” Baekhyun whispered, leaning up to kiss him. “Actually, I think I’d enjoy that.”

Chanyeol wasted no more time in stripping Baekhyun of the last of his clothes. The omega whined when the cold air of their bedroom landed against his heated skin, and he clawed at Chanyeol’s back to get him impossibly closer. The alpha closed the space between them with a kiss and reached down to prepare Baekhyun for the grand finale of the night. He watched the omega’s reactions carefully, knowing exactly what he liked the most.

“Are you ready for me?” Chanyeol whispered, hot and heavy into the waiting omega’s ear. The smaller whined in response and bucked up to gain more friction. Chanyeol held him down firmly with one hand, and with the other he reached into their bedside drawer for a condom. Before he could tear the tinfoil package open, he felt Baekhyun reach up with one hand and stop him.

“Not tonight, please,” he begged, looking up at a confused Chanyeol with a serious face.

“What?” Chanyeol simply asked. He didn’t know what Baekhyun meant by that. Did he change his mind about having sex tonight at the last minute? Because Chanyeol definitely would have felt guilty for making him do it if he wasn’t really feeling it.

Baekhyun sighed and laid back onto the pillows. “Knot me… w-without it.” He sighed again and looked up to the roof before turning back to his husband. “I’ve been meaning to ask you about this but… um… now’s a good time, I guess. When do you want to start trying again? You know, for another baby?”

Chanyeol laid down beside him, still ready for sex but only after having this conversation first. “I don’t know. I hadn’t really thought about it for a while now. I mean, I’ve thought about it, but I haven’t actually put a time or anything on it. What about you?”

“Now that I’m feeling better and we’re in a better position now than we were a few months ago, I was hoping that we could try again soon. But, again, I don’t want you to say yes if you’re not ready for it yet.”

Chanyeol took a moment to think about it. He wants to try again himself, but he doesn’t know if he’s ready to see Baekhyun get hurt again. It felt like it had only been last week since the day he saw him hunched over in their kitchen bawling his eyes out over a simple cooking accident. It happened once before, and it may have been an isolated incident, but his biggest fear was that there was a chance it would happen again. He felt so helpless not being able to take away Baekhyun’s pain.

Then again, he looked at the omega beside him who had the same look in his eye that was there when he proposed this idea the first time. Baekhyun wanted this, again, and so did he. Things are better in their lives, with Baekhyun having more days saved up at work and him finally getting the full time position at the hospital. Plus, he found himself imagining what Baekhyun would look like carrying his child, and it was a beautiful thought. Like Baekhyun’s omega instincts were telling him that it was time to be pregnant, Chanyeol’s alpha instincts were telling him that it was time to fulfill his omega’s wishes.

“How does right now sound to you?” Chanyeol simply asked, kissing the omega and running a free hand slowly up his thigh.

Baekhyun smiled into their kiss. “I was hoping you’d say that,” he whispered, rolling over onto his back and taking the alpha with him. “Park Chanyeol, put a baby in my belly.”

He didn’t need to be asked twice, throwing the unopened condom onto the nightstand and loving the omega the only way he knew how.


	2. Try, try, try…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I have a couple things here.  
> 1) There is a lot more implied sexual content in this chapter compared to the last one, so there’s a fair warning.  
> 2) In case you haven’t seen it, Songho National Park (mentioned here) is where Chen and Xiumin went during the filming of Traveling Without Manager on CookatTV’s VApp channel.  
> 3) In this, Chanyeol’s sister is married to Choi Minho.  
> 4) I went as Chanyeol from the Lotto MV for Halloween ;) http://nice-receive-jongdae.tumblr.com/post/152553883791/what-to-do-i-just-hit-the-lotto

Chanyeol’s phone buzzed with a text early the next morning, waking him up from his blissful sleep. He pulled himself away from Baekhyun who was asleep beside him and reached over to the night stand beside him. The screen was way too bright for his still sleepy eyes and it took him a moment before he was able to read the message properly.

_Kim Jongdae, 6:23 am: Hey Chanyeol are you awake yet?_

_Park Chanyeol, 6:24 am: I am now, why?_

_Kim Jongdae, 6:24 am: Shit, sorry if I woke you up :( but there’s something I need to talk to you about. Can we meet somewhere, maybe a restaurant so we can talk about it over breakfast?_

Chanyeol groaned but he was worried about where this was heading. Jongdae never asks to have serious talks and it concerned the other alpha. He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.

_Park Chanyeol, 6:26 am: Sure man, which restaurant?_

Jongdae texted him the directions to the restaurant that he wanted, since they live in the same district, and Chanyeol slowly woke himself up without waking up Baekhyun.

Well, almost…

Baekhyun stirred from his sleep and hummed in content. “Good morning, love,” the omega yawned, smiling up at him. Chanyeol leaned down and gave him a chaste kiss, much different from a few hours earlier. “Where are you going?”

“Jongdae said he wants to meet for breakfast and talk about something with me. It sounds important but I hope it’s nothing too serious.”

Baekhyun curled into the warm sheets and breathed in the mix of their scents embedded into them. “Yeah, let’s hope not. Don’t be gone too long, because I might be ready for you as soon as you get back.”

Chanyeol felt his heart speed up, remembering that Baekhyun was in heat and they made an important decision last night. He had to look away from the way Baekhyun was staring up at him, innocently but tempting. He threw on some of the clothes that had been discarded the night before and cleaned himself up to go out. After a few minutes, he returned to the bedroom and gave the half-sleepy Baekhyun a goodbye kiss.

“I’ll be back soon. Don’t miss me too much, okay?”

Baekhyun hummed and curled the sheets close to him. “Okay. Be safe.” Baekhyun had drifted back off to sleep before Chanyeol was even out of the apartment. Chanyeol ran down to his car and headed towards the restaurant that Jongdae picked for their talk. At a little before 7 in the morning, traffic in their district hadn’t quite hit its high yet, and Chanyeol reached the destination sooner than he thought.

When he parked, he saw Jongdae sitting at one of the window booths with a cup of coffee, fiddling with his fingers and looking nervous about something. If Kim Jongdae of all people is nervous about anything, then it’s a serious issue for sure. Chanyeol hurried inside, his friend snapping out of his trance to greet him with a smile.

“How long have you been here?” the taller alpha asked, taking his seat and giving his order to a waitress.

“Ten minutes maybe? I was kinda thinking of coming here anyway before I texted you. But I’m glad you could come out at such a short notice.”

Chanyeol snickered. “You sound like a boss.”

“I _am_ a boss, what do you mean?” The two men laughed and Chanyeol thanked the waitress for his tea.

“Anyway, _boss_. What’s up? Why did you randomly invite me out to breakfast?”

Jongdae gave a nervous laugh then sighed, looking down at his lap. “I know this is… probably a silly question but whatever. How did you know you were ready to propose to Baekhyun? Like, I know you had that feeling of, ‘oh my God I want to spend the rest of my life with him,’ but how did you actually bring yourself to do it?”

Chanyeol thought about it for a second and smiled. “It was actually pretty easy. It wasn’t an ‘I woke up one morning and wanted to marry him’ kind of thing. It was more like a ‘wow I love this nerd so much’ kind of thing that built up over time. Then I looked around, found the perfect ring, and picked a date. Why?”

Jongdae didn’t say anything, only smiled and blushed while looking at his intertwined hands. Chanyeol only had to wait for a second before he caught on. “Jongdae?” he asked, his jaw dropping in surprise. “Jongdae, is that what this is about?”

Jongdae reached into his pocket and pulled out a black velvet box with a silver engraved wedding ring. “I’ve had this ring for a few weeks but I may need your help giving it to him."

Chanyeol was speechless, covering his gaped mouth with his hands. “That’s awesome! Congrats, bro. You know, we were wondering when you were planning on doing it.”

Jongdae laughed nervously. “Yeah, me too. I’m not worried that he’ll say no, not at all, but I’m worried that I might ruin the entire thing. I wanna make it extra special, you know? So that’s why I wanted to talk to you about this, and see what you did to propose to Baek.”

“Well, I may not be the most romantic guy on the planet, but you came to the right place for help, my friend. What are you thinking about doing? Maybe I can help there.”

Jongdae showed Chanyeol some of the plans that he had written down, including a surprise trip to Songho National Park to do it there. By the time their food came to the table, they had come to some sort of a conclusion and Chanyeol agreed to help him plan it. They chatted over small life matters for the rest of breakfast, although Chanyeol kept his and Baekhyun’s baby plans under wraps.

“Since you have the day off and all, what are you planning on doing?” Jongdae asked when they left the restaurant.

 _Baekhyun,_ Chanyeol thought but couldn’t actually bring himself to say without getting flustered or giving anything away. Instead, he shrugged his shoulders and said that he was probably going to binge on a new show or something. Jongdae accepted the answer and waved goodbye to his friend before he hopped on the next bus to get home.

Chanyeol looked at the time on his dashboard, 9:03 am. He had been gone for a little over two hours, just long enough for Baekhyun to wake up with another wave of heat in full force. He quickened his pace home and arrived at the apartment in record time. As soon as he walked through the door, he slipped off his t-shirt and made his way to the bedroom.

“Channie?” Baekhyun called out, sounding out of breath. He came to the door as soon as Chanyeol had reached it, light brown hair still messy from the night before and wearing a pair of thin boxers that left nothing to the imagination. Not like it was anything Chanyeol hadn’t seen before. “I told you I’d be ready for you when you got back.” 

“I had hoped so,” Chanyeol whispered, effortlessly picking up the omega and carrying him back into their bedroom for round 2.

* * *

Days turned into weeks and the waiting game began again. It was barely a month after they decided to try again and Baekhyun was already stocking up on tests. The first time Chanyeol walked in on Baekhyun waiting for the results of a test to appear, he felt a sense of excitement because there was a chance that they had succeeded on the first try again. He joined his husband in the bathroom, hugging him from behind and resting his head on the smaller one’s shoulder.

Baekhyun let out a breathy chuckle and reached up to Chanyeol’s hair with one of his dainty hands. “Do you think it worked?” he asked with a smile.

“I hope so. I think we’ve been trying hard enough.” One more minute passed and the couple finally got their answer: one pink line.

A negative.

“Oh,” was all Baekhyun could say before his smile dropped in disappointment. “Never mind.” He picked up the test and stared at it as if that would make the answer turn positive.

Chanyeol looked at his face carefully. It didn’t look like he was going to cry, but he definitely didn’t look happy either. He shook him playfully and kissed his cheek.

“Hey, don’t be upset, okay? It doesn’t always work on the first time, so that means we just have to keep trying.”

Baekhyun nodded in agreement but he refused to crack a smile. “Okay.”

Chanyeol turned him around and held him like they were dancing at their wedding again. “What can I do to make you smile again?”

Baekhyun shrugged his shoulders. “It’s up to you. Honestly I could just stay in all day and be fine.”

Chanyeol kissed him and whisked him out of the bathroom. “Then that’s what we’ll do. Movie?” Baekhyun agreed and cracked a small smile. Seeing Baekhyun smile, even if it was a small one, was enough for Chanyeol. “That’s the spirit, Baek. Let’s go.”

Baekhyun crashed out on the couch while Chanyeol scrambled to get things ready for their lazy day in. The movie started, and the smaller omega curled himself into his husband’s side, absently drawing patterns with his fingers on the alpha’s stomach.

Halfway through the movie, Baekhyun could feel Chanyeol’s breath in his hair, followed by a gentle kiss. The omega looked up to see his husband staring down at him with so much love in his eyes.

“What?” Baekhyun asked gently, giving him a smile.

“Nothing,” he whispered, pushing a piece of stray hair behind his ear and giving him a kiss. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”

Chanyeol continued to kiss his face and Baekhyun chuckled. “I think so, yeah. But if you want sex, all you have to do is tell me.”

“Hey, I’m just trying to be romantic here.” Chanyeol cupped the smaller guy’s soft cheeks and kissed him again, lingering for a few seconds. “Are you still watching this?” 

Baekhyun shook his head with a smile. “No. You?”

Chanyeol pushed him onto his back and ran his slim fingers under Baekhyun’s t-shirt. “Good. Me neither.” Soon the movie was forgotten and all Chanyeol wanted to hear was the moaning coming from his satisfied omega.

* * *

Weeks turned into months and Baekhyun began to grow desperate for a positive test result. He found himself in the bathroom at least three times a week hoping for some good news but was only disappointed in the end. It was around this time when Chanyeol began to notice a pattern here: Baekhyun was much friskier after every negative test, and it seemed like his desire to be pregnant took over everything else, sometimes even sleep. Every day, he was bringing home something new that he read could help them in their quest to become parents. Chanyeol didn’t mind the extra sex, of course not, especially when there was new stuff involved, but he was worried that it was the only thing Baekhyun focused on and he would only be hurt in the end if it continued to fail.

One weekend in late September, Baekhyun had gone to Bucheon with his mother to take care of his sick grandmother, and Chanyeol invited his sister over to spend the day. The doorbell rang as soon as he finished setting up the take out lunch on the coffee table and he couldn’t answer it fast enough. He squealed with delight when he saw his one-year-old nephew Jongsoo reaching out from his mother’s arms to grab at him.

“Hey, big guy! Come to uncle Chan,” he cooed, heaving at picking up the toddler. “He’s gotten heavy. What are you feeding him?”

Yoora laughed and carried in the diaper bag. “Oh, you know how Minho’s food is, all rich and stuff.” She huffed with a smile and hugged her overgrown younger brother.

“How has Minmin been lately?”

Yoora rolled her eyes. “You know he hates that nickname, right? But anyway, he’s good, busy as always now that he’s got a new group to manage.” Yoora had a monumental task on her hands when she first introduced her alpha husband, a top name music producer, to her younger brother. The two alphas didn’t get along at first and barely spoke a word to each other until the wedding, and after then their relationship had greatly improved, much to the omega woman’s relief.

Chanyeol sat down on the couch and played with his nephew while Yoora set up a blanket on the floor for him. Now that he and Baekhyun were trying to get pregnant again, they spent time with their siblings’ children as much as they could, and this was his first time seeing Jongsoo in over a month. Chanyeol softly held his tiny hands and spoke to him playfully, enjoying the happy sounds that the baby was making.

Yoora sat down beside him and joined in. She took her son off of Chanyeol’s hands so she could feed him and her brother could eat. “So how have things been on my little brother’s end lately?”

Chanyeol sighed and picked up a mouthful of lo mein. “Yoora, please, I’m almost 25 now.”

“I know,” she laughed. “You’re always gonna be my little brother, okay? So how have you been?”

Chanyeol swallowed his bite and caught his breath. “Can you keep a secret?”

Yoora nodded and gave Jongsoo another noodle. “Tell me.”

“Baekhyun and I are trying for another baby.”

Yoora’s face lit up in a massive smile and she made some rather non-human squealing noises. “Really? That’s awesome, congrats!”

Chanyeol smiled awkwardly and nodded. “Yeah, but it hasn’t been going so great lately. We’ve been trying for four or five months and we’ve gotten nothing out of it, not even a false positive. That’s why we decided not to tell anyone until we actually got a positive answer, that and we don’t want to jinx ourselves again.”

“Understandable. It’s not always the easiest thing, unfortunately. Want me to tell you what Minho and I did?” Chanyeol stopped mid-chew and flashed his sister a look that screamed _don’t you even dare_. “Or… not, that’s fine too. But anyway, how has Baekhyun been feeling about all of it?”

“He’s really frustrated and just wants it to happen. He was the one that brought it up again and, of course, I said yes because I want it too, but I was more worried about him than anything else. It’s all that he can focus on now and I’m worried that he might be getting too obsessed with it, you know?”

Yoora nodded. “That’s pretty common, yeah.”

“He blamed himself so much for losing our first baby and I don’t want him to start blaming himself again if we don’t get a positive answer soon. I was so worried about him when he was first bottling up his feelings after it happened and I hope he doesn’t start doing it again. I feel like I should talk to him but I don’t really know what to do.” Getting this off his chest was making Chanyeol feel much better. Sometimes it’s nice having a psychiatrist for a sister.

“Honestly, I would say just talk to him about it. Do you want to stop trying or what?”

Chanyeol shook his head. “Of course not. But I don’t think we should spend the rest of our young adult lives worried about whether or not we can even get pregnant. We saw a specialist last week and she said there’s really nothing wrong with us, and it makes no sense because we’ve been doing it in every possible posit-”

“Chanyeol!” Yoora whined before she covered Jongsoo’s ears. “I think you forgot that we have tender ears in the room.”

Chanyeol rolled his eyes. “And weren’t you about to spill all of your secrets with Minho, hm?”

“Well, at least I asked first.” Both siblings laughed and took another bite of their food.

“But yeah, that’s basically it. What do you think I should do?”

“I say to just voice your concerns first and ask him how he’s feeling about it, then you can have another discussion when you’re ready and come to an agreement on what you should do. Don’t leave anything out either. Let him know that you want to keep trying but tell him why you’re worried. I’m sure he’ll understand where you’re coming from.”

Chanyeol smiled. “Thank you, Yoora. You’re the best.” Suddenly Jongsoo started laughing and reaching out to him. “And you are too, Soosoo!” Chanyeol reached over the table and picked up the toddler again.

“I can hold him until you’re done eating if you want me to.”

“It’s fine, Yoo. I missed the little tyke.” Yoora watched her brother playing with her son, lifting him up in the air and watching him laugh. It all just looked so natural, Chanyeol with a child, that she couldn’t wait until he and Baekhyun had their own.

“You’re going to be a great father someday, Chanyeol,” she said fondly. “It’ll happen eventually, don’t worry.”

“Thanks, Yoora. I’m glad you could come over today.” The Park siblings spent the rest of the day at home, giving Chanyeol plenty of time to bond with his nephew. Yoora and Jongsoo stayed until after Baekhyun came home, and after she was gone Chanyeol took a shower and remembered the talk that they had.

Baekhyun finished with his shower and joined Chanyeol in the living room. “Hey, Baek. Can we have a talk for a second?” Chanyeol started, lacing his fingers in the omega’s smaller ones. He tried his best not to sound too serious or make it seem like he wanted to talk about getting a divorce or anything.

Baekhyun nodded and sat down with him on the couch. “Sure, love. What’s up?”

Chanyeol ran his thumb over the back of Baekhyun’s hand while he collected his words. “How are you feeling? You know, how have you been feeling about us trying for a baby?”

“What do you mean? Like, if I still want to try for it or what?”

Chanyeol shrugged. “Something like that. But I’m thinking more about how you’ve been feeling mentally about this whole situation. We’ve been trying for almost five months and I can tell you’re starting to get frustrated with not getting anything out of it. You’ve always been the kind of person to keep to yourself about how you feel about things and I’m worried about you. I was worried about you after the miscarriage last year when you kept things so bottled up, and I want you to know that you can talk to me if you don’t feel so good about this."

Baekhyun’s serious expression soon turned into a bit of a comforting smile. “I’m fine, Chanyeol. I understand how you feel but there’s nothing to worry about. Yes I’m upset that it hasn’t happened yet but I’m feeling okay. I’ve come to terms with the fact that this would take a while. How do you feel about it?”

“I want to keep trying but I don’t want you to feel like you’re obligated to do this immediately. And I don’t want us to spend our entire lives worrying about this. So, how about this. Let’s keep trying from now until February, and if it doesn’t come up by then, let’s take a break from it. Maybe we’re forcing something that’s just not meant to be right now.”

Baekhyun looked a little disappointed but he nodded in agreement. “Okay.”

“Hey, don’t be too upset by it, okay?” Chanyeol asked, running a comforting hand on his arm. “Just because it’s not happening now doesn’t mean that it won’t ever. Let’s stay positive and keep trying. And if it happens after the break, then at least it happened.”

Baekhyun looked up and gave him a more genuine smile. “Okay, Chan.” They leaned into the middle and met for a soft kiss. 

“I bet you had a long day. Tell me all about it before we go to sleep.” Baekhyun allowed Chanyeol to carry him to their bedroom, and quickly found comforting sleep in his husband’s loving arms.

* * *

They were both fully aware that the date was fast approaching.

November 4th, the anniversary of the day that changed their lives forever.

Chanyeol was extra attentive to Baekhyun that day, watching the omega’s every move and checking the changes in his moods. Chanyeol still remembered the pain of that morning as if it had been a week ago instead of a year. He knew for sure that Baekhyun, the one who went through the ordeal on a much more personal scale, remembered it as if he could feel it happening again.

Baekhyun was quiet. He had been almost all day, but Chanyeol couldn’t tell what he was feeling. He was probably reflective, or sad, or even a little angry. But Chanyeol would let him speak about it on his own time, if ever. He hummed a soft song to fill the silence in the room and hope to lift his husband’s spirits on this solemn day.

If they had known a year before that they would be sitting on their bathroom floor again waiting for another three minutes to pass, they would not have believed it. It seemed that, in the last six months, three minutes became a standard measurement of time for them, and each time felt longer than it should have been. Chanyeol held Baekhyun’s softly trembling hand, keeping manual count of the seconds with his free hand.

Finally, the three-minute alarm rang to signal that their test results were ready, but for the first time, Baekhyun stayed still. “Chanyeol, can you read that for me?” he asked softly.

Chanyeol nodded and freed his hand from Baekhyun’s. He reached up to the counter and grabbed the test stick, hoping he would have some good news to bring. He stayed quiet, not wanting to tell him what he’s been tired of hearing for months.

“Negative?"

Chanyeol nodded. “I’m sorry, Baek.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m used to it by now.” Baekhyun struggled to regulate his breathing but he felt like his chest would fall in on itself. His heart which had been filled with heavy emotion all day had finally broken, and all it took was one pink line.

Chanyeol quickly threw away the test and wrapped his arms around the trembling omega whose small body shook with every heart-wrenching sob. “It’s not fine, Baek, and it’s okay to admit that.”

“What are we doing wrong, Chanyeol? What did we do to deserve this?”

“We’re trying our best and you know it. Maybe it’s just-”

“- Not meant to be right now, I get it. But when will the ‘right time’ ever happen?” He took a deep breath between sobs and continued. “We were supposed to be a family right now. You, me, and a three-month-old. But instead I had to turn around and be a fucking failure as usual.”

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol cried, keeping his voice steady. “Don’t you dare say that! You’ve never been a failure and you know that. You were sick and you tried your best just to survive. You had no control over what happened to you and not a damn soul has blamed you for it.”

“How else can you explain all of this, Chanyeol? What happened to me last year wasn’t a simple mistake and if we really are trying our best, then we wouldn’t be sitting on this floor right now. It’s all my fault and you know that as well as I do! I’m the defective variable in all of this.” Chanyeol, now with tears in his own eyes, looked up to his husband and he could finally read his emotions. He was sad, yes, but he was angry more than anything. Chanyeol hadn’t heard him yell like this in years, but he wasn’t yelling at Chanyeol. He was angry at the way things had worked out, but most of all he was angry at himself. All of the feelings that he kept inside of himself were coming out at once.

Suddenly, Baekhyun’s hand turned into a fist and he slammed it against the tile floor as hard as he could. Chanyeol jumped at the sudden display and when Baekhyun pulled his hand back, both of them could see the faint scarring that was sure to start bleeding.

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol said softly as he grabbed a damp towel.

“I’m sorry, Chanyeol. I’m sorry that you were the unlucky bastard who got stuck with a defective omega.” He shuddered at the cool feeling of the towel on his skin but he kept heaving between sobs. “You deserve better than me. You deserve to have an omega who can actually be a proper omega. I’m so sorry that it looks like I won’t ever be able to give you children. And… And I-I’m so scared you’ll leave me for one who can.”

Chanyeol listened to Baekhyun’s heartbreaking rant and couldn’t find the proper words yet to make him feel better. He softly pressed a kiss to his lips and swiped his wet cheeks with his thumbs. He looked into his eyes before he started. “The Byun Baekhyun that I fell in love with was not a defective omega, and the Park Baekhyun that I married isn’t either. I didn’t fall in love with your ability to get pregnant. I fell in love with you, this big soft heart of yours, and this smile that can make flowers grow. I knew that everything else would simply be an extra reward. I don’t want anyone else, regardless of whether or not I have kids. I only want to have them with you, and if it never happens, then it never happens. That will never change the way that I feel about you.”

Baekhyun exhaled another shaky breath and held on to Chanyeol’s shoulders. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I turned out to be this way.”

“What way? All I see is the handsome man that I fell in love with who’s been to Hell and back and is stronger for it. I don’t think you really understand how much I admire you, Baekhyun. You survived a life-changing tragedy and you’re still smiling. You have a heart of gold that’s had plenty of chances to change and it hasn’t. You’ve made the last six years of my life the best that I’ve ever known and I can’t thank you enough for that.”

Finally, Baekhyun smiled, and as shaky as it was, it was genuine and full of love for the man in front of him. Chanyeol wouldn’t lie to him, and he definitely wouldn’t leave him when he needed him the most. “I love you so much, Park Chanyeol. Thank you for loving me even when I feel like I don’t deserve it.”

“You always deserve to be loved, Baekhyun. From now on, I’ll make sure that you never feel that way again.” Chanyeol glanced up at the clock and saw that it read 8:06 pm and neither of them had eaten yet. “Take yourself a nice shower while I throw together some dinner. I’ll bring it to you.”

“Actually,” Baekhyun said quickly, stopping Chanyeol. “It’s been a while since we’ve taken a shower together. Unless you’re hungry now, of course.”

Chanyeol’s lips turned into a sly smile before he kissed the omega again. “No, I’m not. Are you?”

“If being hungry for you counts, then yes.” Chanyeol helped Baekhyun picked himself up off the floor and neither one of them could get undressed fast enough. In the confines of the shower walls, they barely had enough time for the water to hit their bare skin before they were breathless, panting, and desperate for more connection.

If Baekhyun had any doubts that Chanyeol loved him, the alpha was sure to make him feel it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to extent this to three parts since I had so much that I want to do for this and I didn't realize it. The next part won't nearly be as long, maybe 3,000-4,000 words, but I promise they'll have their happy ending. :)


	3. Hello, angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The happy ending that I’ve been promising all along! Enjoy :) 
> 
> Update, 11/09/16: If anyone is American and stressed out about the recent election results, you’re definitely not alone in this. I am too, I feel like I’ve been completely numb since they came out, but I’m pushing through. Like most of you, I’ve also been bombarded with things telling me that being angry is not the answer and we need to just move on and accept it, but if this is going to directly hurt you or someone you love, then you have every right to feel how you feel. Coming from a political science major with a focus in international relations, I’m terrified of what this upcoming presidency is going to mean for my professional future, and I’m afraid for what it’ll mean for a lot of people’s futures in general. I didn’t mean to go too political here, but I wanted to say that if you came here for stress release or an escape from what has happened in the last few days, then you’ve found the right place. I hope reading this can give you a little bit of comfort like writing it gave me.

The New Year rolled around quicker than everyone expected, wrapping up the most eventful year of Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s life. They had less than a month until their agreed deadline to take a break from family planning, but the omega had finally come to terms with it. They were still young and had plenty of chances ahead of them to have a family. In the meantime, they were busy with other important life things. They were looking at a new apartment and helping Jongdae and Minseok plan their May beach wedding on Jeju Island.

Chanyeol’s hours at the hospital stepped up by January. He was okay with it since they needed the money to go towards their new apartment, but it meant that he and Baekhyun had less time to spend with each other. He had finally opened up to some of his closest co-workers about their plans, and they all were happy with them but sometimes he would get a sly nudge on his shoulder whenever he left to go home.

He was on break with Minseok, wolfing down his leftover soup in the middle of his ten hour shift. He listened to Minseok talk about the wedding planning and the adventure that he had gone through that morning with one of his elderly patients when he got a text.

 _Park Baekhyun, 5:32 pm:_ _Call me right now_

Baekhyun never sends a text like this, since he just calls if it’s important. Chanyeol felt his heart drop and Minseok caught on. “Everything okay, Chan?” the older omega asked.

Chanyeol nodded. “Yeah, uh, Baekhyun needs to talk. Do you mind if I step out?”

Minseok waved his hand. “Of course. I hope everything’s okay.” Chanyeol left the room and headed to the balcony outside the break room. He hovered over the green call button for a second before he pressed it and listened to the ringing on the other end.

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun said firmly as soon as the call had gone through.

“Is everything okay, Baekhyun? It must be pretty urgent.” Chanyeol paused for a second until he heard a sniffling on the other end. “Baekhyun? Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m okay. I’m more than okay.” Baekhyun laughed for a second before he continued. “Chanyeol… baby… I’m pregnant.”

Chanyeol felt the excitement race through him and he was left speechless on the other end. “Are… are you sure?” Of course he was happy, beyond thrilled, but he needed to hear him say that he was sure. They’ve wanted this for almost two years now and he was in disbelief that their wish came true.

“I’m looking at three positive tests right now. Chanyeol, it actually happened! We’re finally having a baby!”

Chanyeol laughed in excitement. “Oh my God, Baek, we are! This is… seriously… Baekhyun, I love you, so much.”

Baekhyun smiled and wiped away a joyful tear. “I love you too, Chan. Hurry home so we can celebrate together.”

“I’ll try my best. Just a few more hours then I’ll be on my way home. Don’t celebrate too much without me, okay?”

“I won’t, I promise. See you then.”

As soon as Baekhyun disconnected the call, Chanyeol let out a loud laugh into the cold night air. “Do you hear that, world? I’m going to be a father!” He shouted and heard an echo off the hospital wall across from him. He had to hear himself say it again.

He was all smiles as he sat back down at the table with Minseok. “Is everything okay, Chanyeol?”

The overjoyed alpha nodded. “Of course. Baekhyun had to call me and break some… pretty important news to me.” He smirked and waited for Minseok to get the hint.

“Oh… o-oh my God, seriously?” He smiled wide at Chanyeol happily nodding. “That’s awesome! We told you it would happen! Chanyeol, this is… this is seriously the best, I’m so happy for you two.”

“Thank you, Minseok. I couldn’t believe it either. Actually I don’t think I will be until I can see him. I can’t wait to go home now.”

“I don’t blame you, man.” Minseok raised his glass for a toast. “To your new beginning.”

Chanyeol nodded and took a drink with him. “Cheers.”

9 pm couldn’t come fast enough for him, as he was out of the hospital doors as soon as he could leave. The traffic was kind enough to him to not make his trip home any longer than it needed to be, well, if he hadn’t stopped on the way to buy a cake. He hopped out of his car and ran upstairs to his apartment to happily greet his husband.

Baekhyun opened the door with a smile and giggled at the cake. In green frosting, it said “we’re having a baby”. “Chanyeol, you shouldn’t have,” he huffed with a smile.

“It’s not a party without a cake, right?” He leaned down and gave the giddy omega a kiss. “I was thinking this was how we can tell everyone.”

“You’re a cheeseball. But I love you.” He stepped back to let Chanyeol in and a tear streamed down his face.

“Aww, Baek don’t cry!” Chanyeol put the cake down and pulled him into a soft hug.

“I’m only crying because I’m happy, Chanyeol. I never thought this would actually happen to us.”

Chanyeol nodded and softly brushed his hair back. “I know, baby. But I always believe in us.”

Baekhyun pulled back and smiled up at him. “I guess I’m also a little worried because I don’t want to lose this one too. I should be happier than that right now.”

“I know you’re worried, and I don’t blame you for it. But if anything, I believe that we’ll make it this time.” He knelt down onto one knee and held the omega’s barely-there belly. “We haven’t seen you yet, but we already love you. I promise to protect you and your daddy forever, with my life if I have to.” He left a soft kiss there and leaned back up to capture Baekhyun in another one. “Let’s not think about that right now. Let’s celebrate what we already have.”

Baekhyun smiled and nodded. “Of course. Can’t have cake without milk, though.” He ran into the kitchen and grabbed two glasses and the jug of milk. “Now we can party.”

Chanyeol took their announcement photos: one of the cake itself, one of Baekhyun taking a bite of it, and one of him feeding Chanyeol a piece like they did at their wedding. They probably had more fun taking them than they should have, but they were more than happy to share this amazing news. 

Although, it didn’t take long after that for their relatives to blow up their phones, and they weren’t asleep before midnight, but they didn’t care. Besides, Chanyeol was too busy lazily rubbing Baekhyun’s belly, and the soothing feeling put both of them to sleep.

* * *

“Park Baekhyun?” the doctor called out, waving him and Chanyeol into the back. Three weeks had passed after they found out they were expecting again, further than they’d gotten the last time, and now they were having their first official ultrasound. Both of them were giddy, finally being able to see their baby for the first time even if it was the size of a bean.

Although he looked more like he’d eaten a large meal than anything, Baekhyun had finally started showing. He found himself randomly cupping his belly and feeling how it was starting to change, and he loved it. Chanyeol was doing the same thing, and if they were sitting together he always made sure to keep one of his hands on the swell there.

“How are you feeling today?” the doctor, Dr. Shim, asked, making small talk while she set up the ultrasound equipment.

“A little nauseous but I’m fine. I kinda expect it at this point.”

“That’s good. That means there’s definitely something there.” Baekhyun rolled up his t-shirt and Dr. Shim squeezed some of the gel onto his belly. He yelped at the cold feeling on his skin and Chanyeol smoothed the back of his hand. “Yeah, sorry that this stuff is always so cold,” she laughed.

“Oh, no, it’s fine. I’m just glad that we were actually able to make it this far.”

Dr. Shim's expression drooped in sadness for a second. “I saw in your records that you were pregnant the other October. I’m sorry for your loss.”

Baekhyun and Chanyeol waved their hands at the same time. “It’s okay. It still hurts but now we have this little one to think about.”

Dr. Shim placed the metal wand onto the gel and smoothed it out while they waited for the image on the machine to warm up. It only took a minute for a black and white image to appear and they could see what was going on inside. “It’s a little elusive one, huh? But don’t worry, we’ll find it soon.”

Chanyeol laughed and whispered in Baekhyun’s ear, “Babe, you can relax. You’re crushing my hand right now.”

Baekhyun huffed a laugh and loosened his grip. “Oh. Sorry about that.”

They turned their attentions back to the screen then Dr. Shim said what they were waiting to hear: “I found it. Say hello to your little jellybean.”

The couple laughed at the nickname until they finally saw it. On the screen, there was a little white figure about the size and shape of a jellybean. The “jellybean” was their child, or rather the beginnings of it.

Baekhyun exhaled a shaky breath and tears of joy welled up in his eyes. “Oh, wow. Chanyeol, look, there it is.”

Beside him, Chanyeol couldn’t stop smiling and his eyes began to shimmer with small tears as well. “It really is. Baek, that’s what’s inside of you right now.” He breathed out a laugh. “We finally did it.”

Dr. Shim smiled widely at the happy couple. “You’ve waiting a long time for this, haven’t you?”

“Almost eighteen months now. We almost started to give up hope.”

“Well Mr. Park, you don’t have to worry about that anymore. Your hope is right here.” She took some pictures of the images on the screen and kept the wand there for a few minutes. “From what I’m looking at, all of your other tests are great and there’s some good development here. Everything’s shaping up to be a good few months. All you have to do is follow some self-care tips, and you’ll have yourselves a healthy child in September.”

Chanyeol counted the months on his free hand and Baekhyun laughed at him. “We have to wait seven more months.”

“But I think it’ll be worth it.”

Dr. Shim blushed at how cute they were being together. “Congratulations to both of you. You look like you’re so in love and you deserve this.”

“Thank you.”

“Would you like a print-out of your first sonogram?”

“Can you make that two?” Dr. Shim nodded and sent two of them to the printer in the main office. When she stepped out, Chanyeol leaned over and gave Baekhyun a soft forehead kiss.

“You’re doing so great already. I know we can make it.”

Baekhyun sighed and stared up at his husband with sleepy eyes. “I’m glad I’m doing this with you. Thank you for not giving up on me." 

“Always.” They leaned in for a soft kiss that would have lingered longer had the door not opened on them. Dr. Shim gave them the print-outs and they finished up their appointment to go to lunch. Whenever they were standing together, Chanyeol made sure to have both hands on Baekhyun: one with their fingers interlocked, and the other over his belly to protect their little “jellybean”.

* * *

“Deep breaths, 1, 2, 3, and let it go. You’re doing great, love. Keep it up.” Baekhyun did the breathing, then as soon as he let it go he squeezed Chanyeol’s hand with another painful contraction.

Seven months, one new apartment, and one wedding later, the big day had finally come. Chanyeol and Baekhyun were going to meet their daughter for the first time, the child they’d spent the last two years fighting for. Even now, with Baekhyun’s pain at the highest that it had ever been in his life, they were excited about the joy, and trials, that would soon follow. All of their family and friends were either out in the waiting room or on their way, equally as excited about the new baby as her parents.

Minseok came into the room beaming at his friends. “Hey, mama,” he said cheerily, coming over to the bed and softly rubbing Baekhyun’s belly. The omega smiled at the soft affection, even though his face was coated in a thick sheen of sweat from exertion. “How are you feeling at the moment?”

“Peachy. I think the meds are starting to set in.”

“How far apart are your contractions now?”

“I’d say about-” Baekhyun couldn’t finish his sentence as he was interrupted by another one.

“Two and a half minutes,” Chanyeol finished for him.

Minseok smiled and wrote it down on his clipboard. “Great. That means we’ll definitely be meeting your little girl before the end of the day. Hang on for us, okay?”

Baekhyun smiled and nodded, catching his breath. Minseok was out of the room again, and Baekhyun looked up to Chanyeol with hooded, sleepy eyes. “How much longer?”

“About an hour maybe? You’re doing great so far, keep it up.”

“Chanyeol… our lives are changing forever after today, but for a better reason this time. Who do you think she’ll be more like?”

“Hopefully for both of us… you.”

After a short pause, Baekhyun sighed. “Chanyeol, I know this is too late but can I confess something?” When Chanyeol nodded, he caught his breath. “Since this began, I had some moments where I was worried about whether or not I was ready to be a parent. It even scared me if I’m being honest. But I have you to do this with, and I couldn’t be happier.”

Chanyeol smiled and brushed back Baekhyun’s damp hair. “You’ll do fine. You won’t be a perfect one, but is anyone ever a perfect parent?”

“True.” He laughed before convulsing in another contraction. “I think that was two minutes, maybe less? That means it’s getting closer.”

He smiled and nodded in agreement. “It is. I’ll call for the doctor and hopefully we can get this started soon.” Chanyeol stepped away for the first time all afternoon to call for the doctor, and as soon as he came into the room, it was all ready to go. Chanyeol was all dressed in his sterilized doctor gear and he was right back at Baekhyun’s side to hold his hand in support.

“Ready?”

“I’m still scared now, but you’re here so I have nothing to be afraid of. Yes, let’s get this started.” Even with the painkillers to help ease his pain, it was still the worst pain that he had ever felt in his life. He gripped Chanyeol’s hand like his life depended on it, and at this rate it kind of did. His head was light and the room felt like it was spinning, but he got some comfort knowing that as soon as this was all over, they would be holding their daughter for the first time.

After half an hour of struggling, the sounds of Baekhyun’s cries were replaced by the wails of their infant daughter making her grand entrance into the world. He crashed back onto the pillows in relief and Chanyeol wiped away the sweat on his forehead.

“You did great, love,” he said fondly, kissing him again. Across the room, the nurses in the room were taking care of their daughter to get her ready to meet her parents. “I’m so, so proud of you.”

Baekhyun smiled tiredly, but he was full of love for the two loves of his life in this room. Barely five minutes passed and Minseok was bringing the infant over to them.

“Here she is. She’s absolutely beautiful. Allow me to be the first to congratulate you.”

“Thank you, Minseok,” Chanyeol thanked gratefully, standing up to give his friend a hug. They turned their attentions to the fidgeting infant in Baekhyun’s arms and admired her like she was treasure. She was to them, anyway.

Minseok laughed lowly and reached over to them. “Oh, and you want to see the best part?” he said before he unfolded her ears to let them stretch out for the first time. They were carbon copies of Chanyeol’s.

The new fathers laughed along with him. “She’s definitely my child,” Chanyeol said between laughs. “Minseok, can you tell everyone outside that I’ll be out with her soon? I want a moment alone with the two of them.”

Minseok nodded and left the room, the last of the nurses to do so. Chanyeol turned his full attention to the two of them lying in the hospital bed and kissed Baekhyun’s forehead softly again.

“Hello, angel,” Baekhyun cooed softly, running his finger over her tiny nose and down to grab her hand which was still balled up into a fist. “Chanyeol, she’s here. Can you believe it?”

Chanyeol shook his head no. “It’s still so surreal to me. We waited so long for this, and now we have it.” He brushed back her black hair and watched her silently. “Park Yoojae, welcome to our family. You have a lot of people outside wanting to meet you. Your father and I waited for you for a long time, but I have no doubt that you were worth the wait.”

So full of love for the two of them, Baekhyun began to cry. “We’re finally a family, Chanyeol. Are you ready to hold her?”

Chanyeol nodded without hesitation and held onto the infant tenderly. Baekhyun watched him walk around the room with her, singing softly and telling her how much they love her. They waited over two years now to have this feeling, to know what it was like to have a child of their own, and suddenly everything else seemed insignificant. She would grow up to become something great and no matter what, they planned to love and support her unconditionally.

“Can I…?” Chanyeol asked, pointing to the door. Baekhyun nodded in agreement, and soon Chanyeol was out the door to show their new daughter to the rest of their family. He walked into the private waiting room that was humming softly with everyone’s conversations while they waited for the news.

“Everyone,” Chanyeol started, catching everyone’s attention. “I’d like to introduce you to a very special someone. Say hello to Park Yoojae.”

Everyone clapped in support and came closer to get a closer look at the newborn. They could tell that she was going to be a perfect mix of both of her parents: Chanyeol’s ear (a given) and his eyes, but Baekhyun’s smile and soft face. She was perfect and already surrounded by unconditional love, and Chanyeol and Baekhyun were eternally grateful for the support of their family and friends.

When one door closed for them, another one opened not too long afterwards, and through that door came a child named Park Yoojae.


End file.
